Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United States
from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one
really knows how old he was, since his birth records were lost
long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his
life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories,
helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For
decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no
power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such
valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why
the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't
spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in
second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense
survived cultural and educational trends including body
piercing, Whole language, and "new math." But his
health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He
watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-serving
lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly
implemented zero tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a
teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition. It declined even further when schools had to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could
not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or
wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals
received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck
their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional
sports. When a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup
of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense
threw in the towel. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in
and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding
questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets,
rocking chairs, stepladders and auto emissions.
Common Sense finally succumbed when, while the United
States was fighting a war on terrorism, a federal judge declared
the Pledge of Allegiance to be unconstitutional. Common Sense
was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
Author Unknown
The Passing of a Beloved Old Friend
“Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common
Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows
for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having
cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in
out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn’t
always
fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn)
and
reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
“His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a
6-yearold
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do
in
disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further
when
schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun
lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents
when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses,
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself
from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you
for assault.
“Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman
failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She
spilled
a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his
son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A
Victim.
“Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he
was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the
majority and do nothing.”
