For seniors only!
Not Kids Anymore, when . . .
You and your teeth
don't sleep together.
You wake up looking
like your driver's license picture.
Your idea of a night
out is sitting on the patio.
Happy hour is a nap.
Your address book
has mostly names that start with Dr.
You sit in a rocking
chair and can't get it going.
Getting
"lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
You look for your
glasses for half an hour and they were on your head.
You sink your teeth
into a steak - and they stay there.
You give up all your
bad habits and still don't feel good.
You finally get your
head together and your body starts falling apart.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new
knees. I've fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor
circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or
92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's
permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an
aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and
perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was
over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it
used to be.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the
difference.
Unknown
