Funny Slogans
The Battle of the Sexes
My Wife Comes With Instructions -- Lots of Instructions
He Rules the Roost -- But I Rule the Rooster
Never Go to Bed Mad. Stay Up and Fight
Parenting Pearls of Wisdom
Don't Worry, Mom -- It's Just a Phase
You Spend the First Two Years of Their Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 16 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up
The Joy of Aging
I'm Still Hot -- It Just Comes in Flashes
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
Feeling Stressed?
I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke
Out of My Mind. Back in Five Minutes
My Reality Check Just Bounced
Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues
No Pain, No Gain
Every Time I Hear the Dirty Word 'Exercise' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate
It's One of Those Days
Some Days You're the Pigeon, Some Days You're the Statue
Earth Is the Insane Asylum for the Universe
Life Is Short -- Make Fun of It
Travel Fun
Hang Up and Drive
I Took the Road Less Traveled, and Now Where the Heck Am I?
Ego-Boosters
Live Your Life So That When You Die, the Preacher Will Not Have to Tell Lies at Your Funeral
If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing a Couple of Payments
Pets Rule
It's My Dog's World. I'm Just Here to Open Cans
Cats Regard People As Warm-Blooded Furniture
What's Your IQ?
My Mind Works Like Lightning -- One Brilliant Flash and It's Gone
God Must Love Stupid People -- He Made So Many
Making It Big In This World
I'm Destined for Greatness -- I'm Just Pacing Myself
I've Gone to Find Myself. If I Get Back Before I've Found Me, Please Keep Me Here
Retirement
Retirement -- Twice as Much Husband for Half as Much Money
Before You Can Be Old and Wise, You Must First Be Young and Stupid
Retired -- I Was Tired Yesterday and I'm Tired Again Today
My Back Goes Out More Than I Do
Retired -- Know It All and Got Plenty of Time to Tell You About It
Unknown
