What is written

What it means

Single Male

Hasn't had date in years. Prays he's not a permanent resident in the 'house of celibacy.'

Likes staying up late

Drinks coffee like a fish.

I am a collector.

Has extensive hotel soap and towel collection.

Likes dining out.

Eats out because the only cooking he can do is boil noodles in water---poorly.

Likes swimming.

His basement floods so bad that even Moses on a good day couldn't part the waters.

I am a professional who is highly successful.

He makes the BEST grilled cheese sandwiches working fulltime at the bowling alley snack bar.

I love to drive with the wind in my hair.

His car roof was torn off in a freak accident.

I am frugal.

Saves money by touring local grocery stores and eating the samples they set out.

Loves animals.

Has given up trying to kill all the cockroaches in his kitchen and bathroom.

Want to join me for romantic dinners?

Wants to eat greasy hamburgers by the glow of his laptop computer screen while his date clips his toenails.

I'm a warm person.

He's happy his body still generates some heat even at his age.

I have been recognized for my achievements.

Was named "Employee of the Year" at Wild Bill's Hotdog and Root Beer Emporium.