NO EXCUSE Saturday: DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH MEMBERS!
To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Saturday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Saturday".
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Saturday is my only day to sleep in."
There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.
Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Friday night.
We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."
Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.
Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.
We will distribute "Stamp Our Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Saturday.
We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton for those who can!
Hope to see you there!
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