
You Might be in a Texas
Country Church If…
- The doors are never locked.
- The Call to Worship is "Y’all come on in!".
- People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
- The Preacher says, "I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," and five guys stand up.
- The restrooms are outside.
- A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because,
"I ain't ever been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of."
- In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of
"two calves."
- Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy
any meat or vegetables.
- When it rains, everybody’s smiling.
- Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship
service.
- The church directory doesn’t have last names.
- The pastor wears boots.
- Four generations of one family sits together in worship every Saturday.
- The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the
summer, and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash.
- There is not such thing as a "secret" sin.
- Baptism is referred to as "branding".
- There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
- Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
- People wonder when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or
catfish.
- The final words are, "Y’all come on back now,
ya hear?"
Unknown
